START EACH DAY WITH A GRATEFUL HEART
I was both nervous and thrilled to post my first blog last week- putting my story out into cyberspace felt a little like standing naked in public. But then I remembered why I posted all that personal information about myself- in the hopeful spirit of reaching others who have a story to share. I was super excited when moms at daycare pick-up approached me and said they had read my blog and when neighbors and family reached out. The response from friends near and far, who called and texted with kind and encouraging words has more than filled my bucket.
Many of those who I spoke with last week were mothers who could empathize with my story. A lot of what I discussed surrounds the very timely subject of postpartum care. The United States, a country full of the best and brightest, is the WORST when it comes to women’s healthcare, ranking LAST among developed countries in maternal mortality rate. That is 3x the UK, 3.5X Canada, and 4.5X Spain. Last week, on May 8, the CDC released a report stating that 60% of all maternal deaths in the United States are preventable! Excuse me, but WHAT is happening to women having babies in our country? And if its preventable, WHAT can we do differently? The U.S. is also the only developed country where the maternal mortality ratio has INCREASED between 1990 and 2015. Childbirth affects 100% of the population, even if you aren’t having a baby yourself. The care mothers receive affects YOU.
So, I asked a few women about their prenatal and postpartum experiences, both in the U.S. and abroad. (you see, being a military spouse, I have accumulated friends during each of our assignments. These friends are now living in states across the U.S. and in countries over the globe). Here is what I learned (keep in mind this is generalized and I am sure there are women out there who have had wonderful care in the U.S.):
Generally, prenatal and postnatal care in the US sucks. This level of suck does not discriminate by race or socioeconomic status. Women who gave birth in other countries, like in Greece and Germany, were able to have ultrasounds at every appointment and stay with the same doctor throughout the entire pregnancy rather than rotating among doctors within a practice. Overseas, doctors perform ultrasounds themselves. In the US, a tech does an ultrasound, then the doctor has to interpret the results, then relay that information to you… lots of nonsense… one of the many reasons prenatal care is lacking.
Women have far better labor and delivery resources abroad- minimum stays in the hospitals are between 5-10 days for vaginal births and up to 2 weeks for C-sections. Here at home, I was kicked out 48 hours after my babies were born “for insurance purposes”. In certain countries, losing urine when you laugh or jump on a trampoline after having children is deemed unacceptable. Resources like physical therapists are readily available for postpartum moms.
Women in the UK are afforded at home health workers, who make visits to check on mothers within the first few weeks of birth. Can you imagine how spectacular it would be to have this service here in the USA? A nurse, who comes into your home to check on YOU in those first few weeks after baby? Sign me up!
Finally, the massive disparity between the paid maternity leave in the U.S. compared with other countries is abysmal. I’m talking three months versus 12-18 months. Why are women expected to give birth and then be back on their feet within 5-7 business days. The reality of this situation is that NO ONE looks like Kate Middleton after birth, especially when a newborn is waking up every 2 hours to eat.
The most common theme I found when talking to women was that they felt unwell. These discomforts: mental, physical, and spiritual were lasting. Whether it was for for weeks, months or years, women suffered. And in line with the CDC’s finding, this may be preventable. The stories range from tales of depression, anxiety over breastfeeding, rage of unknown origin, nutrient depletions, and recovering bodies. Feeling sick after baby SHOULD NOT be a norm. This is something I can personally relate to (see first blog post). Looking back, I wish I had the village I have now to go to for guidance. Upon reflection, (other than policy reform at the national level), what can one individual do to affect positive change? Because we absolutely, need to do more for our mothers, for ourselves, and especially for our daughters.
My thoughts are this: In our overextended, over-scheduled worlds, we need to find the time to practice SELF CARE. Caring for our own bodies and minds has that pebble in a pond ripple effect on our lives. Happiness is contagious and so is WELLNESS. One simple way I practice self care each day is by taking a moment for myself in the morning. Before my husband and kids jump out of bed and the hustle of the day begins, I quiet my mind and body and am grateful. I am grateful for my life, for my family, for all that I have. This small amount of me-time, whether its while I shower or stretch is my perfect way to set BALANCE for the day. By doing this, I take care of myself.
Are you looking at yourself in the mirror each day and reminding your reflection, “I am worthy of my time, love and attention and I choose to be healthy and happy.” Are you making positive food choices to fuel your body and fight disease? Are you allowing your body to rest, uninterrupted, each night for 8-10 hours? Are you drinking half your body weight in ounces of water each day to cleanse your cells and rid your body of toxins? Are you finding time to exercise or move your body? Are YOU practicing SELF CARE?